Perils of the Jungle
Reviewed by Edward Larsen Terkelsen

USA, NR, 63 m, 1953
Directed by George Blair. Stars Clyde Beatty, Stanley Farrar, Phyllis Coates, et al.

We’re tipped off to what a shameless piece of hucksterism Perils of the Jungle is going to be when the opening titles trumpet Clyde Beatty as “the world’s greatest wild animal trainer.” If, say, Conan the Barbarian had introduced Arnold Schwarzenegger as “the world’s greatest body builder,” more than a few theatres would’ve collapsed from quakes set off by audiences rolling wildly with laughter. But the producers of genre films in the 1950s had no shame; they’d do anything short of giving up points to put bums on seats. Perils of the Jungle is packaged as if it’s the most sensational adventure ever committed to celluloid, but the product itself is like a box of crackerjacks with no prize. Beatty, whose pistol-packin’, whip-crackin’ persona may have been the template for characters like Indiana Jones, lacks that certain je ne sais quoi that makes for an action star. I don’t want to goof on Beatty too much because he comes off as a genuinely nice fellow, but he’s about as magnetic as a broom salesman. (No doubt contemporary viewers lacking in historical perspective will carry on about the “cruelty” of his lion taming routine.) Playing himself here (as he did in Africa Screams), Beatty heads for the Belgian Congo (which I was surprised to learn is made up of just a few plastic shrubs) to bag a gorilla. (We’re told American zoos will pay several thousands of dollars for such a critter.) Situations arise that permit him to belt the snot out of some big cats, but most of the other beasties—elephants, tigers, hippopotami—arrive on the scene thanks to footage culled from long-forgotten nature documentaries. (As usual, the ratty trims stand out like a sore thumb.) Hot on Beatty’s trail is Gorman (John Doucette), a sleazy competitor (some call him a “bounder”) who’s hoping to steal away Beatty’s find and make a big pile of loot. Well, Beatty gets his ape (played by some guy in a funny-looking gorilla suit), while Gorman gets his insides crushed by one of the ape’s kin (played by some guy in a funny-looking gorilla suit). Of course, Beatty is such a saint that he won’t allow for the dirtball who’s been trying to screw him over to bite the dust, so he produces a very phallic rifle and blasts the gorilla to kingdom come. When Gorman tried to do that, his weapon seized up. You don’t have to be Sigmund Freud to figure out what all that’s about. 

The second act of Perils of the Jungle seems barely related to the first. (There has been some speculation that both acts were merely episodes salvaged from an abandoned Clyde Beatty television series.) Part deux finds Beatty and his blundering cohort, Grant (Stanley Farrar), in Southern Rhodesia on the hunt for black-maned lions. It’s pretty dull stuff all the way around, which is inexcusable if you take into account how many thrills could’ve been had with those tsetse flies and half-whacked tribesmen. The Gordon Zahler score that plays almost nonstop throughout the picture is atrocious—it’s just a mishmash of royalty-free music cues. Also deserving of a good critical pasting is A.J. Nicholson for his bland photography and piss-poor lighting. (I couldn’t make out what was going on half of the time, though, to be fair, that could’ve had something to do with the quality of the print I was looking at.) On the upside, there’s serviceable supporting work from Phyllis Coates (she played Lois Lane in the first season of TV’s “Superman”) as a trapper who Gorman is trying to run out of business. If you’re experiencing a bit of déjà vu here, try to face those traumatic memories of The Mighty Gorga and you’ll understand why. Yep, in the unsavory world of show business, even a cruddy Clyde Beatty flick is at risk for being plagiarized. 

August 20, 2009 

© Copyright 2009 by Edward Larsen Terkelsen. All rights reserved.