Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
Reviewed by Edward Larsen Terkelsen

USA, R, 109 m, 2003
Directed by Jonathan Mostow. Stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Nick Stahl, Claire Danes, et al.

I wasn’t a big fan of James Cameron’s 1984 sci-fi cult classic The Terminator. I found it clunky and impersonal. But the director’s much ballyhooed 1991 follow-up made its relatively economical predecessor seem inspired by comparison. T2 was nothing more than a blaring, mean-spirited special-effects machine; it pummeled away at you in the same fatiguing manner that the abysmal Die Hard 2 did. Worse, its central protagonists, Sarah Connor and her son, John (Linda Hamilton and Edward Furlong respectively), were so boorishly egocentric that it was difficult not to cheer on the shape-shifting robot that was trying to do them in. Because their charge was to salvage the globe from an android Armageddon, the witless screenplay gave the Connors carte blanche to treat everyone around them like shit, and all the supporting players were depicted as scurvy or freakish and insensitive to the self-righteous heroes’ plight. Though she gave it her all, Hamilton’s performance was ludicrously feral—I couldn’t abide the way she kept growling and spluttering into the camera. And her newly buffed bod was distracting the same way Angela Bassett’s was in What’s Love Got to Do with It? (Hamilton’s tightened face accentuated her voluminous lips, making her look vaguely like a monkey.) And Furlong, his incessant whining made even more annoying by the croaks of puberty, had a feminine je ne se quois that may have served him well as a potential prag in Animal Factory, but seemed an unfitting trait for an actor playing the fated savior of the planet Earth. 

Fortunately, Hamilton and Furlong are nowhere to be seen in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. Neither is James Cameron, which may be even better news. The directorial duties for this installment of the trilogy have been assigned to Jonathan Mostow (Breakdown), and although he lacks Cameron’s operatic sensibilities, he keeps the action clicking along at a zestful pace. He doesn’t overstay his welcome either—Terminator 3 runs a lean 109 minutes. Of course, Arnold Schwarzenegger (he’s the reason this franchise still exists) is back as an upgraded Terminator, the T-101, and though Ah-nuld’s already in his mid-50s, he looks as brawny as ever. He’s given a great villain to tangle with this time around: a female automaton known as the T-X. Like T2’s T-1000 (Robert Patrick’s suavely glacial demeanor was the best thing about that film), the T-X can morph into other people, but is also modified with deadly weaponry such as machine guns and flame-throwers. Played by Kristanna Loken , the Terminatrix is both intimidating and tantalizingly slinky. (She may be the hottest thing to hit the Bijou since Charlize Theron spread her legs for the camera in 2 Days in the Valley.) Despite the clear discrepancies in their bodily might, Loken’s protracted brawls with Schwarzenegger never come off as absurd—she more than holds her own against this former Mr. Universe cum California Governor.  

John Conner, now an adult, lives “off the grid,” that is with no phone, credit card or fixed address. The T-X has been sent back in time to whack John (played here by Nick Stahl) and keep him from becoming the leader of the revolution, thus ensuring the rise of the machines. (Yes, it’s essentially the same plot of the first two pictures.) Schwarzenegger’s T-101 arrives from the future at about the same time to protect John from the fembot from Hell, and the film is basically one long variation on that cat and mouse game. (We get our fair share of fiery car pile-ups.) There is a sub-plot concerning John’s future missus, Kate Brewster (Claire Danes), a veterinarian who’s on the same hit-list as John. Her dad, Robert (David Andrews), is a military general who is unwittingly developing a race of super robots that will inevitably take over and destroy most of mankind. (Hence the film’s cryptic title.) Since John’s considerably older now, we know it isn’t long before he leads the revolution against the machines, but who or what eventually hits upon the idea of time-travel? The resistance? The cyborgs? Looks like Arnold better keep in shape if he’s to appear in the inevitable sequel that will hopefully answer this question.

September 23, 2003

© Copyright 2007 by Edward Larsen Terkelsen. All rights reserved.